Where I Started From

For most of my life, I believed that I was totally incapable. “Of what?”, you may ask. Well, of anything. This may seem like a strange way to begin a blog that is intended to be an introduction into my life, but I truly believe that you can’t really know who I am now without an understanding of what it is that got me here.

If you knew me growing up, you probably viewed me as a sweet and gentle child that played by the rules and faded into the background. A merge of personality and family dynamics resulted in a people-pleasing, meek little girl that was terrified to put herself out there. Before I even began to attempt something new or share myself with the world, my brain would interrupt with a resounding shout of “you can’t do this” that would instantly stop me in my tracks. This narrative bled into every facet of my life and left me longing to become a version of myself that I was convinced was just too far out of reach for me.

I spent years playing things safe: never stepping into anything that might slightly push me outside of my comfort zone because I was certain that there was no point in trying. I just wasn’t the kind of girl that was good at “those kinds of things”, or so I told myself. I stuck to what I knew.

When my family began to crumble at the start of my teenage years, I felt an incredible surge of those feelings: the ones that convinced me of my lack of competence for life. I found myself in a state of extreme sadness and, because of this, I began to develop habits that surely did not serve me well and were quite destructive, at times. To everyone around me I was shiny, neat and full of joy. I was constantly surrounded by friends and doing well in the endeavors that I felt like I could safely pursue. However, on the inside, I was a mess.

I say all of this to give you a glimpse of where I started from. Throughout my time on this blog I will share, more specifically, the moments that have gotten me to where I am. You’ll hear of everything from my daily rhythms to my tips and tricks and the story of how the Lord radically and wonderfully changed my heart. For now, just know this: I wasn’t always who I am today. My hope is that we all can say this in some capacity but, it is just so true for me. That little girl that I used to be is far cry from who I am now, but I am so grateful for her and love her dearly. Like many of you reading this, I thought that there was no way that I could ever possibly change the direction of my life and my habits, but I did.

“How?”, you may be thinking. Well, that’s a story for another day.

Stay tuned, friends.

-Katie