How to Survive the Holidays Without Overdoing It.
It's the holiday season and, for those struggling with their relationship with food, this season can feel like one big temptation that is blanketed by anxiety and fear over what will end up on the dinner plate.
If you find yourself in this camp of folks, you likely have convinced yourself that there is “no point in trying” or you have decided that you’ll “start again in 2025”. You might just be certain that there is just no other choice.
What if I told you that it doesn’t have to be this way?
When it comes to the holidays, there is one food that reigns supreme for me: my Nana’s cornbread dressing. There is something so special about it and, though I have followed her recipe to exact measure, nothing that I make will ever come close to the tasty side dish that has been mastered inside the walls of her kitchen.
For me, the holiday season is not complete until I have had a taste of my Nana’s dressing. As much joy as a bite of this delicious holiday staple brings me, this dish (and others like it) were the cause of quite the emotional tug of war for me during my teenage and young adult years that were laden with wreckage of bad diet culture. Because of this, for years I found myself in one of three scenarios when it came to these family dinners:
The first involved the years that left me sitting at the table, wanting to eat some of this food that I loved so much but not allowing myself to have a full serving or maybe even no serving at all, simply because I was convinced that this would completely derail my "progress" towards the body that I was working for.
Then there were the years that I allowed myself to have some of these foods, only to spend the remainder of the day (maybe even the next day) feeling guilty for such an "unnecessary indulgence".
The last were those years in which I counted it all as a big failure before it even began. I would tell myself that I needed to get as much of this deliciousness that I could stand because this was a special food that I could only get this one time of year. In my mind, more of this food equated to more fulfillment and more of the "holiday experience". This only left me feeling absolutely miserable, both physically and emotionally.
I just never felt like I could get it right. Why was this so hard?
If I had to guess, you relate to at least one of these scenarios. Maybe even all of them. After much healing in this area of my life, I can now reflect on those years and what they left behind. Here is what I notice: all of that hyper-fixation on food and my body only took away from the experience.I allowed something so silly to become the focus of such special times with the people that I love.
This season of the year involves many delicious foods, but it's not about the food. Food is part of the experience, but food is not the experience in itself.
It's never been about the dressing. For me, tasting my Nana’s dressing warms my heart because it reminds me of the years spent standing on the chair at her countertop because I was too short to reach without the boost. I can still hear the sounds of helping her crumble the cornbread and laughing as we cooked together. The season is not about those cookies that I bake with my boys, it’s about seeing them as my Nana saw me all those years ago: excited to help and making the most beautiful mess along the way. It fills me with such joy to watch them smile and hear their giggles as they steal bites of sugar and chocolate chips.
It's not about the food. It's about what the food represents: connection and joy. At the end of the day those feelings can never be taken away from me, no matter how many plates full of dressing or cookies that I eat. Nor does eating more of those things give me more memories to enjoy.
Even further, (and you might have to sit down for this one) the “holidays” are not ACUTALLY a season, they are a few days or a handful of gatherings that take place during this time of year. If we really think about it, including parties and family dinners, we are looking at maybe 10 days worth of celebrations (and that is being generous). Let's be even more clear: that's more like 10 meals. That’s 10 meals out of at least 100 opportunities to eat over the next month. Think about it: 10 percent. Is it really worth feeling defeated, worried, anxious, or more over 10 percent? Well, not really.
With that in mind, here is my best advice: enjoy that 10 percent. That doesn’t mean binge or make yourself so uncomfortably full at every opportunity. ( I mean, you have the right to, but I'd argue that being uncomfortably full and bloated doesn't feel any better than restricting yourself). Eat what you like. Savor it. Enjoy it. Fully embrace the time with the people that you love. Be mindful: not just about how you feel about the food in front of you but also about how actively engaged you are with the people that you are sharing a meal with.
Make the best of each meal, and then do this: move on with zero guilt, anxiety or concern. Make the next meal one that fuels your body in the way that you want it to and get right back to what serves you well.
I promise you that shifting to this mindset will not only help you to prevent loads of excess “holiday weight gain” but it will provide you with an opportunity to truly experience the holiday season like never before.
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.
I am grateful for my faith, my family, my health, my happiness, and for every single one of you.
-Katie
